Harry and Meghan to start a new religion called ‘Victimtology.’

“Just make the checks out to Meghan, never mind that Harry bloke,’ said the religions founder, Meghan Markle.

Cut adrift from their former life of responsibility and privacy, many wondered what Harry and Meghan would do once they left the Royal Family. Well, DrunkenSober has an exclusive this morning from a Palace insider that the still semi-relevant couple are turning their greatest strength – complaining – into a new religion called ‘Victimtology.’

The couple are offering their spiritual guidance to those in need – in need and possessing solid seven figure bank accounts – through the trials and tribulations of being victimised by the press. For a low six figure donation – monthly – disciples will gain insight into things like: how to deal with mean words from journalists once the cheque for the interview clears, the best way to project victimhood from your million dollar mansion, and that yes you can be a victim when sleeping on silk sheets.

Word is inductees will relinquish all material connections to this world – namely wallet, credit card details and the keys to any luxury cars/yachts – and in return have their pick of the pair as spiritual mentors, followed by an eight day course on why you were racist to not pick Meghan and a half hour course on why you must hate gingers if you didn’t pick Harry.

Their website – currently under construction yet all payment and account deposit details are listed and fully functioning – promises you too can be a millionaire victim if you just try harder.

It’s refreshing to see such a young couple so down on their luck land on their feet. We wish them the best with their new endeavour.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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