After the Eels rolled the Broncos on Friday night, the Blue & Gold crew rocked into the city centre to celebrate their win, have a laugh and sink some piss. While all well and good, it seems some intoxicated Eels fan took things too far when they put an Eels beanie on the King of Queensland, ‘Sir General His Royal Highness Son of God Always Won Origin’ Wally Lewis. When a cleaner found the statue just after 3.00am Saturday morning, it didn’t take long for the Premier to hear about this and begin mobilizing the troops.
“It’s fucken on!” said Queensland Premier, Annastacia Palaszczuk. “Think you can come in here and disrespect Queensland Royalty? Think again! Our tanks will be rolling across the border by the end of the week!”
While it may seem harsh to anyone who isn’t from Queensland, making fun of Wally Lewis is a crime that many Queenslander’s believe carries the death penalty. In fact, Palaszczuk said now might be the time for an entire overhaul of the Queensland Justice System.
“Making fun of King Wally – death. Making fun of Earl Alfie – 20 years. Driving 80 in a 100 zone but you speed up to 100 when it becomes dual laned – mandatory for all Queensland drivers.”
While Queenslander’s are up in arms and tooling up for war, New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian has extended an olive branch in the form of promising that Kyle Sandilands will never be allowed to holiday in Queensland again. Hopefully such a generous act will appease the state of Queensland and we can all come together and get back to unifying themes like hating on Anthony Mundine again.