After a long week of work micro brewer Mike Knoll (29) was looking forward to a big kip in on Sunday morning, planning on making it until at least 9.00am before he woke up. Which was great in theory, however in practice his cat ‘Mittens’ had other plans; plans which he enacted in the wee hours of Sunday morning.
‘I like to lay about the house as much as the next human, but even I have standards,’ put forward Mittens (4). ‘Once we got into Sunday I was like, ‘It’s 3.00am – you lazy bastard! Get up!’
When the jump on the bed routine failed to produce any visible results, Mittens moved to the next stage of curling up next to Mike and putting his weight against him. Once this brought about zero change, it was time to bring out the old face ‘tappity tappity tap tap.’
‘It’s a classic. And I was gentle,’ said Mittens somewhat defensively. “I just put my paw on his face. Then again. And again, faster and harder until he woke up. Then I kept at it until he fed me.’
Slightly offended at the language used, Mittens was satisfied at least in the smorgasbord of biscuits thrown across the darkened kitchen floor. As Mike stormed off back to bed, Mittens was content to let him sleep – for almost two more hours before purring in his face.
‘Why get a cat if you’re not going to feed it every two hours? Honestly!’ mused Mittens.