Lockdown ending in the UK. Locals now free to not visit the dentist.

With Britain easing lockdown restrictions across the country, the people of England are looking forward to reengaging with all the things they used to do – like going to the park, watching football live, and avoiding the dentist.

“I think I’ll give the dentist a miss for another year,” said British citizen, Evey One (25) every year. “I mean I’m young, you don’t really need the dentist until you’re in your sixties. Me mum hasn’t been to the dentist in years – granted she has false teeth, but they look like the real thing. I’ve got plenty of time before I need a something like that.”

Experts are so confident Brits will naturally not visit the dentist that they’re even suggesting empty dentist offices across the country be used for secondary purposes that Brits actually will turn up to – like turning them into bars, or pubs, or general places that serve pints, otherwise known as bars or pubs. Some have even suggested that if dentists serve pints during their appointments that more people might visit them. Until they do, expect more crooked yellow teeth as Britain’s chief export.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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