Israel Folau stuns Rugby fans by signing with Super League – “Super League’s still going?”

“Didn’t that end in the 90s?” wondered casual sports fan, Flicka Channel (37). After a strained exit from Rugby Union due to some homophobic remarks – and a pat on the back from Margaret Court – Israel Folau has found a new home playing rugby league again, which was of little surprise to sports fansContinue reading “Israel Folau stuns Rugby fans by signing with Super League – “Super League’s still going?””

Local entrepreneur forgets to post photo of themself with Gary V before book launch

Australian entrepreneur Will Power (18) is taking the world by storm. Or so he tells us anyway. He is just about to launch his new self help program titled “Will, see you at the top!”  “I consider myself to be a life coach and guru, keynote and motivational speaker.” Said Will from his parents garageContinue reading “Local entrepreneur forgets to post photo of themself with Gary V before book launch”

Teenagers plan to go bat shit crazy tonight and blame the full moon and Friday 13th

The youth are planning on going wild tonight as a rare Harvest full moon falls on Friday the 13th.  Tonight the moon will be lighting our skies as the last Harvest Moon to grace our skies for 30 years which apparently brings good luck. It may not bring good luck however to the local establishmentsContinue reading “Teenagers plan to go bat shit crazy tonight and blame the full moon and Friday 13th”

Brad Pitt admits he “bonged himself into oblivion” while married to Angelina Jolie. In his defence though he was married to Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt has opened up in a recent interview with The New York times claiming he has spent a year and a half at alcoholics anonymous following his divorce with Angelina Jolie. Claiming that he use to bong himself into oblivion in order to deal with having to live with Angelina who is a notoriousContinue reading “Brad Pitt admits he “bonged himself into oblivion” while married to Angelina Jolie. In his defence though he was married to Angelina Jolie”

Australian woman wakes up with strange accent. Only to remember she is actually a Kiwi

Australian woman Juniper Berry (52) has woken up with “Foreign Accent Syndrome” only to suddenly remember that she grew up in New Zealand. “Yeah nah I woke up talking with this funny little aksunt and I was thinking this is definitely not choice as bro.” Said a slightly intoxicated Juniper. “I couldn’t work out whatContinue reading “Australian woman wakes up with strange accent. Only to remember she is actually a Kiwi”

Golf spectators injured in a lightning strike. Serves them right for watching golf.

Six people were injured on the weekend, when lightning struck at a PGA Golf event in Atlanta. It’s almost like walking around a lightning storm waving iron golf clubs beneath trees is a bad idea or something. The only idea worse than that would be to actually go and watch golf in the first place.Continue reading “Golf spectators injured in a lightning strike. Serves them right for watching golf.”

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have begun dating. Which can only make us assume Voldemort has returned!

Harry Potter fans are overwhelmingly supportive so far of the rumours that Emma Watson and Tom Felton have begun dating. Even labelling the union Dramione. The two have been friends for a long time, but fuel was added to the fire of their potential union yesterday when Tom posted a photo on Instagram of theContinue reading “Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have begun dating. Which can only make us assume Voldemort has returned!”

Woolworths confirm ‘Discovery Garden’ as the next collectable. The discovery will be that kids have absolutely no interest in that whatsoever.

Both Woolworths and Coles have come under fire for their hypocritical approach to saving the planet by banning single use plastic bags, and yet are still selling us plastic bags. Well now they’re under further scrutiny being greatly criticised for their collectable campaigns.  Little Shop and Ooshies have been a great success for the supermarketContinue reading “Woolworths confirm ‘Discovery Garden’ as the next collectable. The discovery will be that kids have absolutely no interest in that whatsoever.”

Neighbours low hanging fruit is entrapment! That fruit is begging to be picked!

Two neighbours are at war over some low hanging fruit from an orange tree that appears to be dividing both properties. “It’s my bloody orange tree, I planted it 40 years ago, so only I should be able to pick any of the fruit off it!” said Gerry Attrick (76). “I was sitting on myContinue reading “Neighbours low hanging fruit is entrapment! That fruit is begging to be picked!”