“You’ve got a 50/50 shot at this so you had better get it right,” said Melbournite, Nick Wildman (31).
Author Archives: Brian Rowe
With Monday fast approaching, time to tell yourself your diet starts tomorrow. Hint – it doesn’t.
“Everything’s gunna change tomorrow,” said habitual self-deluder, Noel Itsnot (32).
Young Tradie dismayed to learn that ‘doin’ a Macca’s run’ doesn’t count as exercise.
“But I’ve been doing five runs a day!” said apprentice, Sid Spanner (23).
Parents banned from cheering at kids soccer matches. Not really an issue when it’s soccer.
“So we just have to be quiet for like 30-seconds then?” asked sideline dad, Mayd Tocome (35).
Interest in genealogy fading as people aren’t fussed with flesh and blood relatives.
“I’m not even that close with my living family,” said Millennial, Skye Pmafriends (25).
Study finds 80% of your wardrobe are clothes you aspire to fit back into.
“I’m gunna get back down to that jeans size,” said every person fooling themselves ever.
Dentists to start giving pain relief prior to handing you the bill.
“Jesus Christ! How much?” asked every dental patient ever.
TV show ‘RBT’ to be renamed. It will now be called, ‘Our legal system is a joke.’
“Like in last week’s episode where police pulled over a man for his seventh drink driving conviction and we announced he was looking at a fine well over $100!” said TV producer, Cas Tingcouch (36).
Anxiety surveys called into question as anxious people too anxious to answer surveys.
“Who exactly is filling in these studies?” wondered Doctor Bill Yalater (41).
