“Well this sucks donkeys balls,” huffed Queen Elizabeth II.
Author Archives: Brian Rowe
Father made to attend other kids birthday parties stands around with same three father’s each weekend.
“Wife made you come again too, hey?” asked husband, Terry Wellington (35).
Man faces big city dilemma when a guy walks towards him talking to himself – is it blue-toothed business arsehole or crazy person?
“You’ve got a 50/50 shot at this so you had better get it right,” said Melbournite, Nick Wildman (31).
With Monday fast approaching, time to tell yourself your diet starts tomorrow. Hint – it doesn’t.
“Everything’s gunna change tomorrow,” said habitual self-deluder, Noel Itsnot (32).
Young Tradie dismayed to learn that ‘doin’ a Macca’s run’ doesn’t count as exercise.
“But I’ve been doing five runs a day!” said apprentice, Sid Spanner (23).
Parents banned from cheering at kids soccer matches. Not really an issue when it’s soccer.
“So we just have to be quiet for like 30-seconds then?” asked sideline dad, Mayd Tocome (35).
Interest in genealogy fading as people aren’t fussed with flesh and blood relatives.
“I’m not even that close with my living family,” said Millennial, Skye Pmafriends (25).
Study finds 80% of your wardrobe are clothes you aspire to fit back into.
“I’m gunna get back down to that jeans size,” said every person fooling themselves ever.
Dentists to start giving pain relief prior to handing you the bill.
“Jesus Christ! How much?” asked every dental patient ever.
