““Well I work in aged care.” We know mate. You’ve said it 10 times,” sighed Kayleigh Ashton (26).
“What’s a phone book?” asks everyone under 30.
“We can go toe-to-toe and blow-for-blow,” a bogan waxed lyrical.
“This is some bullshit!” cried Dom Dumbass (25).
“No one style is better than another,” said no instructor ever.
“I love not being able to find a carpark that fits,” commented Mary Bumpkin (31).
Both Woolworths and Coles have come under fire for their hypocritical approach to saving the planet by banning single use plastic bags, and yet are still selling us plastic bags. Well now they’re under further scrutiny being greatly criticised for their collectable campaigns. Little Shop and Ooshies have been a great success for the supermarketContinue reading “Woolworths confirm ‘Discovery Garden’ as the next collectable. The discovery will be that kids have absolutely no interest in that whatsoever.”
Two neighbours are at war over some low hanging fruit from an orange tree that appears to be dividing both properties. “It’s my bloody orange tree, I planted it 40 years ago, so only I should be able to pick any of the fruit off it!” said Gerry Attrick (76). “I was sitting on myContinue reading “Neighbours low hanging fruit is entrapment! That fruit is begging to be picked!”
A small town in Wales has taken the extraordinary step of purchasing anti-sex toilets which shall be installed later this year. The futuristic toilet blocks can detect when there are multiple people in the stalls and when there is violent movement. When such instances are detected, cold water will spray from the roof and aContinue reading “Futuristic anti-sex toilets spray users and sound an alarm if they detect violent movement.”