Australian woman wakes up with strange accent. Only to remember she is actually a Kiwi

Australian woman Juniper Berry (52) has woken up with “Foreign Accent Syndrome” only to suddenly remember that she grew up in New Zealand. “Yeah nah I woke up talking with this funny little aksunt and I was thinking this is definitely not choice as bro.” Said a slightly intoxicated Juniper. “I couldn’t work out whatContinue reading “Australian woman wakes up with strange accent. Only to remember she is actually a Kiwi”

Schools to allow kids to use emojis to signal how they’re feeling. This won’t distract them from their education at all.

‘Bored face. Hungry face. Tired face,’ sends student 20 seconds into first lesson of day. In a move of stupendous bad-choicery, schools are beginning to trial emojis in the classroom so kids can signal to the teacher how they are feeling. The philosophy behind the approach is that teachers can better monitor how their studentsContinue reading “Schools to allow kids to use emojis to signal how they’re feeling. This won’t distract them from their education at all.”

A man has pushed the BMW his parents bought him into a lake because he wanted a Jaguar.

A man claims he pushed a BMW his parents bought into the lake because it was too small for him and his pals. This can only mean he plans to push his penis into the lake next, as it too is too small for him and his pals.  The man knows only as Akash wasContinue reading “A man has pushed the BMW his parents bought him into a lake because he wanted a Jaguar.”

After yet another incident involving excessive drinking in Australia, Americans wonder why we just don’t ban alcohol.

“Won’t someone please think of the children?,” asked American, Shay Kerhead (31). After an alcohol fuelled weekend, where teenagers and adults were admitted to emergency departments across Australia to have their stomachs pumped and cuts from fights stitched up, Americans have been left to wonder at our collective inaction. America has strict drinking laws thatContinue reading “After yet another incident involving excessive drinking in Australia, Americans wonder why we just don’t ban alcohol.”

Instagram Australia removes like counter. Australian social media influencers throw massive dummy spit.

Instagram has removed the like counter for Instagram posts in Australia and the social network warriors are not happy about it. Perth model Jem Wolfie, who has 2.7 million followers, says she finds it “extremely demotivating.” Other social media moguls have expressed concern that their lifestyles will be effected by this decision. “Like, guys, howContinue reading “Instagram Australia removes like counter. Australian social media influencers throw massive dummy spit.”

A Blacktown man has already failed dry July. He claims he thought it was June 31st.

Local man Ronald Orchid has already let himself down for a third year in a row, as he has yet again failed his attempt at a dry July. “I swear to God I thought it was the last day of June today!” slurred Ron. “I thought I’d enjoy a beer or two or three forContinue reading “A Blacktown man has already failed dry July. He claims he thought it was June 31st.”

Prince Harry on third nanny in six weeks. David Beckham impressed.

“He must be a love ‘em and leave ‘em type guy,” said Becks. Despite being born just six weeks ago, royal baby Archie is already onto his third nanny. Usually a sign that the working conditions are far from pleasant, David Beckham – no stranger himself to going through nannies – has weighed in onContinue reading “Prince Harry on third nanny in six weeks. David Beckham impressed.”

Man takes a month off Facebook to detox social media, forgets wife’s birthday.

Let’s face it, we are all addicted to social media. The only real question is how addicted are we? Are you Courtney Love level addiction? Or did you dabble once like Bill Clinton but it didn’t count because you didn’t inhale? One of the main reasons people get addicted to social media is the fearContinue reading “Man takes a month off Facebook to detox social media, forgets wife’s birthday.”

Vaping is now cool as they start exploding in peoples faces.

From their inception to their current status of being the punchline for every snowflake softcock celebrity wannabe out there, vape users have had sand verbally kicked in their faces on a daily basis. But no more. And why? Because they have started to explode, kill, or seriously maim their users. This is exactly what happenedContinue reading “Vaping is now cool as they start exploding in peoples faces.”