“Everything’s gunna change tomorrow,” said habitual self-deluder, Noel Itsnot (32).
“But I’ve been doing five runs a day!” said apprentice, Sid Spanner (23).
“Jesus Christ! How much?” asked every dental patient ever.
“I wasn’t planning on eating mud cake at 8am, but go on then,” said almost every staffroom visitor ever.
“Then when he said Nick Kyrgios seemed like a good bloke, I knew something was up,” said Madison Trudell.
May? “It’s pretty much a certainty,” said Danish physician, Dr Alan Lund. A Danish physician has caused a bit of a stir by making the claim that veganism may lead to mental retardation. One can be forgiven thinking the stir is the implication of a diminished mental capacity due to vegan’s dietary choices, but theContinue reading “Study claims veganism may cause mental retardation.”
“When I got glasses even the teacher called me ‘Peter Pullsalot,” said angry senior, Joe Jerkoff (71). With myopia (shortsightedness) quadrupling over the last decade, experts are blaming young people’s increased use of technology. Since screen time is currently at an all time high, it is believed the increase in shortsightedness is causing behavioural problemsContinue reading “Health officials blame technology on teenagers going blind. Older people mad no one is mentioning wanking.”
“Yeah, my back’s been playing up of late,” said middle aged man, Saw Ness (44).
“I’ll just grab a Dare milk too, because dairy is good for you,” said tradie, Sid Spanner (23).